My Relationship with Books

Written in January 2007

Most of the books in my house were in a built in book shelf over the couch in the living room.  There were some others in the house, but those were books I wasn’t interested in—my mom’s romance novels and true crime rags.  I don’t know where they had the books before they built the back room on to the house and turned one of the windows to the backyard into that bookcase.
I can imagine they had some cheap laminate thing precariously shoved in some corner of the house.  The bright, crisp new book sleeves smile down on my infant brother.  He pulls up on the bookcase.  The shelves bow further under the added weight.  My mom is in the nursery folding pastel baby blankets.  A crash and a cry from the other room startle her.  She runs into the living room to find the top heavy case has crashed onto my brother.  She screams.

I consider myself now.  My sick sense of humor, my rabid imagination, my willingness to daydream myself out of reality are not products of playing too many video games.  I play them a lot now, but I never did when I was a kid.  I had to watch my brothers play.  I didn’t watch much television.  These are scapegoats for the local news.  I know that it was my parents’ books.
They were filthy and honest.  The people in them were devious and wonderful.  They taught me everything I know.  They are dangerous.
I have friends who can’t create new situations.  When they speak the sentences seem to pour from their hippocampus, a rehashing of something they’ve heard before.  I think that those books I read gave me the words, but not the music.
Those books gave me power I am unequipped to use and could never master as they have. They gave me a longing to use language to my own advantage.  I write horribly disconfigured stories.  I parade them in front of those books, and it is as if I have entered a bad transvestite in a Miss America pageant.
I lean over the couch and grab one of the worn relics of my childhood.  It’s dog-eared and water-stained.   I replace it appreciatively in its proper place.

And now for something completely different.

The meaning of life:



I just want you to know I am a bad and horrible person. Two adjectives there, each more true than the last. I did not blog my vacation. Neither will I, since it has been 3 weeks since then.  I have a problem with the thing called “the follow-through”. It only seems to affect my hobbies, sadly enough. Off the top of my head, I count 8 games I need to finish, several css and html project sitting in various states of completion on my harddrive, and 2 books sit with dogears about half-way through on my bedside table. I’m a mess. I’ll have to blame this on being busy at work, because, well, I can.

Anyway, someone sent me an article today. I’d link, but I’m lazy. What it was is not important anyway. It was a poorly written rant on something. It gave me the impression that the writer was acting indignant and referring to feces a lot to get some laughs out of people. It jut came off as tiring and entirely too long for me. It did make me think about all of the great things people I used to follow on the Internet. Most of them are lost to obscurity and expired domain name registrations. Some of them write for Cracked. In the words of my parent’s highschool annual: What a long strange trip it’s been.

Other news:

My google reader is back! By back I mean my subscriptions are back! The last few times I logged in they were gone, and I got very sad about loosing the awesome niche video game and design blogs I’d found. Now I’m free to not log in for a few weeks and then mark them all as read. 1 thing though, it is sad to see no posts on something after 2 or so months. I’m starting to think that like stars, blogs are always dying and all we see is their old photographs. (Tongue firmly in cheek)

I’m starting on writing games again. I love to put off documentation at work, so I’ve assigned some for myself when I get home. I want work with the hubby on the programming when he’s on the other side of this catastrophe we call his post graduate work. Until then I am left thinking about art. I don’t know how to create the visuals. It’s a big and complicated job. On the story side, I have some ideas for a distopic and solitary action puzzle thing and a weird RPG dream-state thing.

Other writing is also being undertaken. I have been trying to finish a story for some time now so that I can edit it. I seem to want to remove myself from everything, but I think it makes things seem too generic. Anyway, I’ve succeeded in incorporating a creepy kid AND an emotionally dissonant young man. These things are just par for the course for me.

I’m trying to find a print of an Ellsworth Kelly’s Red Blue Green for my dining room. Seems like that wouldn’t be an impossible task, right? Well, it is.

Anniversary/Birthday Trip Update #1


We are going on a trip for the hubby’s birthday/wedding anniversary #2. I’ve decided to blog it all. We’ll be flying into Denver at 6:30AM, so I’ve got to go pack now.


Things that make me irrevocably happy:

  • Grammar
  • Students with silly names like Funderburk
  • Spoilers
  • Both pop culture comedic and ancient philosophic quotes
  • Nice pens
  • XboxLive achievements
  • Packing peanuts
  • Obscure references
  • Dark chocolate and caramel
  • Dialogue trees
  • Haircuts
  • Boys—especially boys who obsess over things.
  • Debates about fictional concepts/universes
  • Eco-art
  • New Paint
  • When people ask me how to spell things
  • Pretty tattoos
  • Music with synth, cello, banjos, or outrageous samples
  • Candy or references to candy
  • Drinks that call for sugar on the glass rim
  • Stock footage
  • People who don’t take themselves seriously


And I’m back.

100 posts!

October, eh? What’s new since October…I guess just about everything. I’ve gotten a new job; I like it. I’ve put the brakes on the web writing; I probably do more personal writing and reading now. There’s something about having a 9 to 5 (so to speak) that nicely delineates your time so that you feel ever so much better about goofing off and relaxing. I do not miss feeling like I had to write articles when I couldn’t sleep.

However, in some sort of extreme reaction to my overexposure to the Internet while I was working from home, I closed myself off for a few months. Not socially, really, just in my free time I was light on the social networking and blogospheriness. I’m back on the horse now. I recently signed into Twitter after a 10 month hiatus and found that when I’m engrossed in work all day there is nothing of real interest to tweet.

One of my real joys lately has been in the new house. We moved in mid-February, and I have really made myself at home in the new place. Springtime is truly amazing in Austin.  (The inside joke there is soooo intended.) We’ve made use of the grill my parents gave me for my birthday at least a dozen times. I was sick t’other day and spent my day curled up in our patio set reading and working. Our windows are almost always these days. I love the air flow in the bedroom at night. We have the most lovely evenings. Others may bemoan the heat of a Texas summer, but to me there is nothing more satisfying than a walk around midnight in mid-July. It’s warm and breezy all at the same time, and cooling concrete feels so great on bare feet. I digress (as if this post has an aim)–our bedroom is on the second floor, so there is the constant sound of wind in the trees. Very relaxing. My favorite place to hang out, though, has to be the spare bedroom. We’ve dubbed it the lounge (the study lounge around mid-terms and finals) It’s in the back corner of the condo on the upper floor and when our sitting all you can see out the window is the leaves of our oak tree. It’s like our tree house.

Though the changes happened so gradually that I didn’t notice, now that I think about it, a lot has happened in the last few months. We shaved Arlo and have successfully gotten our obese cats on a diet. I’ve purchased not one, but two smart Fortwo coups. Once was totaled and until I faxed my power of attorney to the insurance company a few weeks ago I owned the completely paid-for, undrivable car. There’s been Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years’, my birthday, the Czexican, and Easter. All involved just the right amount of family, too much food, and a fair amount of alcohol.  I’ve cut and grown out and changed the color of my hair at least twice. Blake is even just a precious few months from finishing up the classwork on his masters.  I think the biggest change is probably my mindset about life in general. I find myself with less time to wax philosophical (which means less blogging rimshot), but this has been mostly positive. I get too navel-gazery easily. People are often all-too-happy to point this out to me sometimes.

That’s a brief overview of the last few months. I’m going to skip the promise that I’ll blog more often now; I don’t like to set myself up for failure. I’ll try to try to make the time to remember to try.


Super quick verdicts on things I was excited about when I last posted:

The Road |  Still postponed. No trailer.

Watchmen |  C  Tedious, but entertaining. Graphic in all the wrong ways. Very faithful visually, so it put a smile on my face.

Lost: Season 5 |  A  Really, as an unabashed fangirl of this series no one can take me seriously I’m sure. I likes me some time travel, the 70s, and character episodes.  Really liking what I’m hearing about the end of the season.

Battlestar Galatica |  B  The time between my posts is so long I can digest entire series. This one was enjoyable in the beginning got downright satisfying somewhere in the middle and really disappointed me near the end. The finale was sufficiently dark to be true to the show and satisfy me.

Freaks and Geeks |  A  I thoroughly enjoy about .5 Apatow movies, and this is great. It floods my little heart with nostalgia and I wasn’t even born until seven years after it is set.

Beat Literature |  Still making my way through the classics. Probably prefer David Cross as Allen Ginsberg to the actual Allen Ginsberg.


Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven’t blogged in awhile. I know. It isn’t busy-ness (See what I did there?) per se, just a lot of sticky personal stuff. I’ll say, all in all, 2008 has been a difficult year for me. Anyone who has been reading has probably figured that out already. I’m not, however, going to dwell on all that. I’m doing my best to kick things back into shape.

I will say that 2009 is looking fantastic. Not one, but two of my siblings are looking to tie the knot. I’m very happy for all of the people involved. I’m going to have some awesome people added to my family in the next year. Lucky me, indeed.

In less spectacular (but way more nerdy) positive news, I’ve been geeking out about some of the movies/tv I’m looking forward to next year. I got one piece of bad news and two pieces of nerdgasm-inducing amazing news today.

***WARNING***Really nerdy gushing ensues:

First the bad: One of the movies on my fall must-watch list was moved into next year. The Road is the adaption of the fantastic Cormac McCarthy novel starring Viggo Mortensen, and though I would have liked to see it between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I’m sure the wait will be worth it.

Now the good: I’ve put my foot in my mouth many times before, but I think I’d never stuffed it in there farther than when I dismissed The Watchmen out of hand as another cult graphic novel not deserving of its near universal acclaim. I finally came to my senses recently and decided to give it a read. Though it may not be among my favorite novels of all time, it is certainly a masterpiece. All of the now-clichéd descriptions are correct: it is the ultimate deconstruction of the superhero; it is a criticism of “power politics”. It’s great. So, of course, despite troubling rumors about the script, I am excited about the film. You can imagine how pleased I was to find today that new footage had been released in a recut trailer.

Secondly, my LOST fandom has reached feverish heights since I decided to give it a second chance this spring after abandoning it after watching some of season 2 when it aired in 2005. I’m certainly not the biggest sci-fi fan in the world, but I always have time for clever, well-written, and subtle stuff. The series is just that, in my humble opinion. Its gigantic fan base and popularity on a major network despite being incredibly nerdy and complex attest to that. Of course, there have been missteps. I can hear my husband shouting, (Highlight to read spoiler) “Mr.Eko’s death was mishandled!” now, but it has well-fleshed out characters and great pacing which is a lot to say about a television show or science fiction. Unfortunately, it won’t be back on air until 2009, so I’ve been following the hiatus spoilers and message boards closely. You can imagine how thrilled I was to find the first Season 5 promo was posted today.

So there it is. I’m done geeking out…maybe. For now, I’ll be sitting on the second floor of the Round Rock Higher Education Center listening to Norwegian Wood and people-watching.