Well, I sure am exhausted today.

In the few moments today when I had enough cognitive presence to see things clearly, I was really happy with where I am. I can go anywhere and anywhere is where I will go.

Enough generalities, I want to tell a story. When I was in high school, my brother (also my English teacher) tapped me to fill out his academic teams a few weeks before the district meets. I was completely unprepared for contest. Most of them were journalism events (at the time I wasn’t a fan), and I cared so little that I didn’t even look up a synopsis for the book in the literary analysis event. So, equipped only with a few minutes of training, I went into Headline Writing. Before I went in, my brother said to me, “Look, I know we didn’t prepare, so just use puns and have fun.” I spent the next fifteen minutes writing the snarkiest things I could think of on my submission form. Halfway through the test my gel pen ran out of ink, and I left. I have no recollection of what I wrote, but I can safely say one thing:

I did not write a headline as bad one CNN had on their website today.

What was this atrocious title?

Incest dungeon girl wakes from coma

C’mon, we can do better than that.

Edit: I found this one this morning.

Nail stabs man’s head; hammer removes it

You don’t say?


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