Opine

I’m sort of restless right now. When I start little projects, I find I cannot overcome self-confidence and motivation issues. When I try to indulge in great books or movies, I cannot seem to focus my attention. This may be the most free time I’ve ever had in my life, but I am unable to use it correctly. Sorry for all the whine, but I am clueless as to what I’m supposed to be dong right now. None of my hobbies seem to interest me lately. Maybe I’m just in a bad place. That said, I’m still on track with my schedule, so things can’t be all that bad.

In other less downer news, I played around with the Spore Creature Creator trial today. I’ve been bummed about Spore since last week when I found out that the graphics card in my nine month old Macbook is not supported. As disappointed as I am to have to load up XP, I was excited to try out the demo today. The interface is smooth and almost immediately decipherable. It seems much more intuitive than the Sim creator in the Sims 2.

I spent my time creating what can only be described as abominations. They tottered on malformed legs and struggled to walk without damaging their twisted spines. It was pretty cool, but I am not sure if its sold me on making major changes to my laptop. Sure, this aspect of the game is fun, can provide hours of entertainment, and represents a only a fraction of the experience, but it concerns me. I can’t connect with my lumbering abortions. They seem too wild, hardly cuddly, and completely alien for me to want to play around with them for very long.

Despite this nagging feeling that Spore will not live up to the hype, I remain, as ever, a devoted Will Wright fangirl. I’m sure it will be wonderful, and I look forward to wallowing around in his imagination for awhile.

Catatonic

The other day I got a little frightened by the interaction between my husband and I. After we had dinner, we both sat on the couch and stared at one another.

What are you going to do right now? I said.

Go work on some stuff. He said.

Cool, I could work on some stuff. I said.

We both wandered off to our separate tasks. The funny thing is that neither of us was working on things for our jobs. I was doing some personal writing and he was trying to do some 3d rendering for his portfolio. I wonder when I became a person who would opt to do some personal enrichment rather than play her new video game? I guess we all have to grow up sometime.

My husband has always been that way. He gives himself projects for fun. He even bought a piece of equipment to program as a gift for himself. He has this crazy obsessive personality. Once he latches onto a problem or goal, he does not stop until he has finished. This might not be the best quality to look for in a husband, but I am very proud of his work ethic. I wish I had it.

I always wished when I was a kid that I had the drive to really do something wonderful. Everything came so easy to me, but I always wished I had been forced to achieve more. I think that if I were as obsessive as my husband, I would have written four or five novels by now.

I guess we all have our gifts. I just wish I could figure mine out.